Monday, March 30, 2009

The Process: Performing

I'm about to lay out how I get ready for a performance so check it it

First thing I do is put the playlist for the performance on my ipod. I run through my set in the shower and on the bus or in my car (depends on what point in my life you caught me in). Back when I was a security guard, I would go through my set over and over while walking around my post. I'm usually still attempting to figure out what order to do the songs in, how its going to look on stage. If its a club performance, I practice the hype songs. If its underground hip hop thing, I pull out the slower "boom boom bap" beats lol. I mentally run through how its going to look on stage. What hand gestures, breaks in the beat, crowd participation, etc. I do this partly to stay on point and partly to save money on renting a rehearsal spot.

After I book the show I start thinking about what I'm going to wear. The on stage persona is super important. I'm always fresh on stage. Shirt matches the hat and shoes. Iron it all myself. Beyond crispy lol.

Appearance is key. If I have enough time before the show, I go hard on my work out routine. If I feel right the night of the show, I take my shirt off. I don't shave til the day of the show and I can't explain why. I just feel super clean after I shave my head and face after not doing it for like a week

I do a lot of online promo for a show. Usually within a 5 mile radius of the venue, don't ask how. Its a secret.

I show up to the venue early but I don't go in. I like to just be in the area 30 mins to a hour before my set. To get parking spot, sell last min tickets, check in and go through my set one more time in my head. I walk in the venue 10 mins before I'm suppose to go on and get a drink. If they giving free drink tickets to the artist, I get a beer. If I'm buying, its french connection. I always save some for when I'm on stage so I can grab a sip between songs. Gets hot on stage under those lights.

Next I step to the back of the stage and just get myself hype like a boxer jumping in his corner. Ready to go in!

Once I start my set, I'm feeding off the crowd. Seeing if they feeling it. I go hard on stag. Get sweaty, take my shirt off. Lost my voice a couple times. Pull a lady on stage for that "Come on and go" song. Give the handshake/hug to guys feeling it in the front of the stage. I've done so many shows that I black out at the beginning of my set and come back to when its over wishing I had more time and more songs lol. My live show is the shit. People love it. I'm a different person on stage. But you'll never know unless you show up....

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Reasons I cheated

Just felt like being brutally honest and had no1 to talk to. So awhile back I gave you the reasons why men cheat. The one thing I never did was explain why I cheated. Wasn't ready to be scrutinized by my readers but fuck it, I'm first name Contro, last name Versy. How the fuck can I not speak on? Why hold my tongue now? So here it goes...

Yes, I've cheated...but I'm not a cheater. That make sense? Difference is, I didn't cheat with every girlfriend. Just had a series of indescrestions with one female. Couple times where just cause but mainly it was because she just wasn't the woman I fell in love with. The reasons she loved me started being the reasons she couldn't stand me. Its not that I changed, I just grew more into who I was already becoming. In the beginning, I could play her songs by an artist and she would already know them, heard the song, had they first album on CASSETTE lol, all that shit. She was a go getter, in college, working, kept her hair done. Bottom line, she was a bad bitch. Then I fucked up and cheated and that was the beginning of the end. That fell under reasons I mentioned in the cheating blog. We got back together but from then on things were tainted. We began to fight about me talking to exes, not fucking, just talking. That just pushed me further away. Each accusation combined with shit going on in her own life seemed to break her down more. Then she got pregnant, which meant no school and no working while I did both. After the baby I kinda kept the trend going of her having to do nothing but stay home and take care of the baby. But then we'd fight about her doing nothing. I was working 2 jobs and on the bus so I'd be home for 2 hours in the morning between shifts and an hour in the evening. I'd spend that time with the baby and cleaning. How do you get mad some1 for doing what yo should be doing. That pushed me further away. I began to just stop coming home. I'd just wander the streets by myself because it was just better than going home to a dirty house and hearing her talk shit when I tried to clean up. Like im doing her job too. Honestly, I possess a lot of attractive qualities and I spend my day out in the world. Women out number men like 9 to 1 in cali. I began to meet girls who would do whatever to be around me. I didn't take most up on they offer but eventually, if u have burgers everday, u'll want a steak. Its not that these women were better, they just had what she did when I met her. Like she became this whole other person. She didn't listen when I tried to tell her about something hip hop related, a current event, a new song and she wouldn't take any interest but these girls would hang on to my every word. I'd give her a book to read so we could have long back and forth discussions about them but she would start a book and not finish or never start. But these girls would read that shit in 2 days. She began to criticize my decisions to move forward with music or shut down every new idea I had with "you always coming up with something" and change the subject to me finding another job. But these girls want to hear all about my idea, how I came up with it, how I plan to execute it and everything. She used to know my songs word for word but now I can't even get her to listen to my new shit. She can't tell you a line, a hook, how many songs I have. But these girls catch the bus to my shows, buy my cds, learn the words. To this day, if you bumped into her, she can't tell you what my last cd cover said, the name of my new mixtape, how many artist I have, etc. So I continue to cheat and she continues to catch me. I kinda always want her to, hoping it would make her change. Make her ask "why them and not me". Even when that was asked and answered, nothing changed. She just broke down more. She wouldn't do her hair or dress up unless she went out with her friends. Even putting on make up for em. But she'll walk around me in the same purple nightgown for days. Add that to the fact that sex became too predictable. 2 to 3 positions max and always the same 3. Positions that have me doing all the work. No head. Eventually it became a chore and no1 likes chores. But there are women out here who will blow a niggas back out, swallow the nut and cook you breakfast lol. When you all this adding, she's missing a lot of points. The question becomes "why don't you leave". The answer is, I felt ike I owed her something because I enabled her to become this person. And you add the years up, how do you leave some one who had your son and was with you when you had nothing. And she usually did something to make me believe things would be ok. Plus, she's a great person. She don't see the problems I see. All she see's is me cheating. She thinks it's cuz I'm impatient. Not even.

Bottom line, no excuse for what I did. Should've been man enough to address and trash the issues or leave.

Wack part is since its over and I addressed the issues, the new nigga is going to benefit from all my hard work. Believe me, I'm happy as he with her moving on but come on. She loves bowliuiend. I could never get her to bowl with me in 5 years. I guarantee that her and the new nigga go bowling before xmas. I couldn't get her to ride dick but I bet she's this new nigga's porn star. Even tho I hurt her, it was never on purpose. She likes to say shit to make me mad. To the point I want to knock her head off. I can't look at her. I can't even be her friend. Wack part is I have to see her everyday and allow her to give me attitude because in the grand scale of things, I did her wrong. All in all, I hope I didn't make life for her new man a living hell lol. Anyway, I don'tknow how to end this. I just showed an amazing amout of vulnerability for a rapper lol

Im tired. Peace

Friday, March 6, 2009

Interview with Cam'ron!

This is my second interview with True Magazine. I didn't get to do the face to face because Cam is in NY and I'm in cali but I wrote the questions she asked him. She didn't ask certain questions right. You could tell she wasn't a dip fan lol


I interviewed Paul Wall last month for True Magazine. Here is the layout of the interview. I'm proud of myself lol. My intro could have been better tho. I have to grab that thesaurus next time...word lol. I can't figure out how to shrink it because blogspot chops it in half. But if you click it you might be able to read it in its full size

Paul Wall interview layout2

Paul Wall interview layout