Reasons men cheat

This will be another long entry lol...

Women say all men cheat and I pretty much believe this to be true and I'm going to explain why.

First let me give some reasons. The number one reason is because women out number men in such big numbers. Its 12 to 1 in some areas. That gives even the ugliest man reason to cheat. Because there will always be a girl out there whose lonely, given up hope and doesn't care if she's the woman on the side. They just want some they can lay with at night because, man or woman, going to sleep alone is wack

2nd reason is boredom. If a man has too much time on his hands, that opens up the window for bad thoughts. Like "I wonder (insert exes name here) is doing" or "I wonder what chicks are online right now". Shit like that. Its nothing that his girl has done wrong, he just was bored and wasn thinking clearly.

Third reason, the girl your in a relationship with changed. Meaning she's not the person you fell in love with. Maybe she gained weight, stopped working so now her hair and clothes ain't fly, lost ambition. By that I mean, she became all about you and forgot about her goals. Ladies, making a man your whole world is a good way to drive him away or get taken advantage of. But back to the who change thing, guys don't want you to change. We want the girl we met with the banging body, good job, goals, had her own friends, etc.

Fourth reason, your girl is just an asshole. You got with her because she was the finest thing in the club but once you started going out you realized she had no class, loud, disrespectful, etc. You don't leave her because she's so fine. She knows she's so she gives you the "take it or leave it" excuse. In those cases, the guy will usually cheat with some1 unattractive but with a whole lot of personality.

The fifth reason, and probably the biggest, is because he can. We only do what women allow. If you let us get away with it once, depending on how fast you fuck us again, we'll do it again. Dick will turn a women's whole mind around. If you let your man fuck too soon after you caught him cheating, it shows that that's all it takes to get back in your good graces.

"Have her call me, I'll tell her the big dick ain't worth all the stress"
-Disappearing Acts

Last reason is simple. You not doing something in the bedroom. Ladies, trust me, if you won't do it, that loney girl will do whatever we ask. Quickest way to get cheated on is saying "I don't give head". I'm not saying do whatever he asks, like 3somes and shit. But don't super limit yourself either.

Myself, I've cheated. Never thought I would but I was "that guy" at one point. I was the awkward kid in school. I didn't really grow into my looks until right after high school graduation. I looked better, dressed better and had everything going for me. Great paying job, my own apartment at 18 and I could fuck...and I was working out lol. I'd get bored and call an ex up or meet some chick online and FACE would always find out. She'd catch me in bed with a chick or find text messages in my phone, she'd cry, I'd say I'm sorry and do it again. I was an asshole. Funny thing, I saw pops do the same thing to mom #3 and said I'd never be "that guy". Atleast now I know how to be a better boyfriend/man/husband but it took hurting people to get to that point.

To sum it all up, there are no good reasons to cheat but there are all reasons. Which reason are you?...

X-Mas with the "dot"

Aight, so Christmas was a few days ago. Its really all about the kids. No adults got gifts from me. There is a reason for that. In '96 for xmas, I got pencils...and a plastic baseball holder...but no baseballs. You can totally tell my "parents" waiting til the last minute to buy gifts. That's what happens when you spend the shopping money on crack. I forget what my lil brothers and sisters got but it was something you could've gotten at a 24 hour Walgreens.

Anyway, I promised to myself to make my kids xmas better than that. Since I got layed off this month, my money was been slim. Any dollar I've made this last few weeks, I earned doing random things and didn't ask for with no job(hates asking for money). It was christmas eve and I still had no gifts. I got out of a meeting so late that just about every store was closed. I was not going home without a gift lol. I finally found a store that had vicious prices on gifts. I got a ton of toys and some stuff for my son to wear. I don't pay child support for him so I had to get him gifts. I pay alot of child support for my daughter so part of that made her xmas happy. She got alot of shit. She still needs some shoes tho, so today I'mma go get her some. My son needs pants also. A father's work is never done lol.

I didn't want anything this year. Just been putting stuff together for next year. People hate when I get in this mode because they get ignored lol. Oh well. I ate alot on food on xmas. Too much. Then I got high. Too high. Time to get ready for new years...

By request, lyrics to "Open Letter"

No I never pumped the block// But I used to walk the block// In hoodies and holey socks// With my mom to get her rocks// She was sucking crazy cock// Just so pops can get his rocks// Til the cops got her locked// Couple months she was knocked// Letters and pictures from me and my sisters// Saying we miss ya// Waiting on you to be delivered// Back to us and not this nigga//Whose kicking you in your liver// Making your life sicker// This a open letter// Get better//

Hook:
Mom, where you at? (Where you at)
And when you gone stop smoking that crack//
This my open letter put to a track
Can I get a soul clap, can I get a soul clap (2x)

Moms, why he grabbing you// Moms, why he smacking you//Moms, what's all these bruises on the front and back of you// Sorry I ain't big enough to go and run and tackle dude// But bet if I was, he'd be showing you some gratitude// You cook and clean for his kids// He should cater to his Wiz(Wisdom)// I know it ain't fair// How he drags you by your hair// Can't call the cops you scared// He gonna beat you til you dead// But you don't listen, you take him back the next day// You don't think, you high as fuck in the first place// Because you love him, the kids suffereing everyday// He won't be happy til he puts you in that morge place// He raise his hand again, cool// I pull my knife out on dude// He husband/fathering who?// He better watch how I move// Cuz I don't tolerate disrespect momma// And we kids to young for all this drama//

Hook:
Mom, where you at? (Where you at)
And when you gone stop smoking that crack//
This my open letter put to a track
Can I get a soul clap, can I get a soul clap (2x)

So you kicked him out// Now we on a cash drought// What we gonna do now?// I gotta steal to feed mouths// You still couldn't get it right// You'd still hit the pipe// You'd smoke away your life// We'd go hungry at night// I know you aching// When the kids got taken// I can hear your heart breaking// Sympathy, you gets nathun// Cuz you part of the 2 reasons they gone// pedophile dad, crackhead moms//I hope where ever you at, you finally sober now// We lost a lot of time, I'm grown with a kid now// We need to catch up, just me you and lil man// Open letter from your son slash your biggest fan// I said we need to catch up, just me, you and lil man// Open letter from your son slash your biggest fan//

Hook:
Mom, where you at? (Where you at)
And when you gone stop smoking that crack//
This my open letter put to a track
Can I get a soul clap, can I get a soul clap (2x)

FLASHBACK: Thanksgiving

I think it was 2000 and me and mom#2 (read earlier blog entry) had nowhere to go for thanksgiving. We usually go to my uncle's house but this year he is in jail so its just me and mom. We didn't cook. We were going to go to my aunts but neither of us felt like it. We ordered pizza instead. That was probably my favorite thanksgiving to date. We just sat and talked and ate pizza. My mom gets on my nerves sometimes but she's the best. She don't have to worry about me getting all "eminem/cleaning out my closet" on her lol

This chapter is called "THE LAYOFF"

So I walk in the house monday night and as soon as I walk in I get a call from my job. The call is saying that they are laying off all the seasonal workers before the season is over. I was starting to tolerate this job and actually was looking forward to making the transition from seasonal employee to regular employee but when they called I was relieved.

I'm relieved because I honestly hate any job that's not music. Relieved because I won't be working my ass off just so child support can take over half of my check. Relieved because I can stop treating music like some part time shit.

This is probably the greatest thing to happen to me on the professional stand point. As soon as that call was done, I was back on my shit. I set up meetings, studio time, got new artist for the label and things are rolling. I'm going to make music pay because I have the smarts to do it, I just never had the time. Now I'm putting my foot in the rap game's ass. From here on out, I'll always have an update for you on the rap side of things. Keep reading people, its going to be a amazing ride

BEST COAST IS THE WEST COAST!!

Oh and for the faggot ass nigga from Philly trynna call out the bossman Loaded Lux....FUCK YOU, YOU UNKNOWN ASS NIGGA! SO WHAT HE WAS ON 106 AND PARK, HE MADE IT INTO THE FREESTYLE FRIDAY HALL OF FAME! FUCK YOU EVER DO WITH YOUR LIFE YOU FAKE FREEWAY BEARD ASS NIGGA!

And now back to our regularly scheduled grind...I mean program *smiles*

Flashback: Mortal Kombat

I found myself playing Mortal Kombat Trilogy the other day on ps2 and that took me way back. I haven't really played it since the 90's on super nintendo lol. Things were simplier then. I was in elementary, had a crush on a girl named christina who had a phat ass lol, and I passed time by creating whole worlds with legos.

My best friends were eric and jamal, I heard my first 2pac tape and had my 1st sleep over at my asian homeboy Vincents house.

I was on the honor roll and got academic awards all the time.

Mortal Kombat back then was catching a lot of slack cuz of all the blood in the game. You either had mortal kombat or street fighter or both.

Snoop Dogg's Doggystyle was the new shit and power rangers was popping. The 1st generation of power rangers lol.

How a jumpoff becomes a relationship

I figured I'd write this after a conversation I had in the studio. Enjoy. Oh and I'm writing from a guys perspective.

Ok, so it starts out real simple. You call/text this girl up when you want some sex. Nothings wrong with her, its just circumstances keep her from being your girl. Either she has a man, you have a girl, your busy, she's busy, etc. You don't go out unless its to kill time til you can fuck.

Here lies the problem. You as the guy can't give the girl some weak dick cuz word gets out that you can't fuck. So what do you do? You fuck her like she's your girl. Do all the back breaking shit you do to a chick you love. The pro's and con's of that is word gets out that your a great fuck and her homegirls hit you up on some side shit and the con is the jumpoff confuses lust with love. She starts wanting to do shit besides fucking or stuff that doesn't end with you fucking. You don't say anything because you got used to sex on the regular and don't feel like going through the process of breaking in a new chick.

Now months go by, the jumpoff has become your girl and has phased herself into your life. Met your fam on the holidays, met your friends, top 8 in your myspace, number 1 in your fav 5, wack ass pics you took in the mall, tons of non sex nights.

How do you avoid this? There are a few solutions. Dip as soon as she starts not giving up the ass. Or fuck with the purpose of pleasing yourself mostly. Don't set dates. Only meet up if its understood that your fucking and make plans to leave after.

Matter of fact, don't even give up last names, myspaces, home number, etc.

Luckily I'm starting to gain some status and people are starting to know my name and got my ringtones and shit lol that I don't deal with that type of drama anymore. Me and my girl might jump off roleplay tho...that sounds like a idea lol

Mom(s)

If you know me...like really know me then you know I have 3 moms. I'm going to attempt to break this down. The order is based on appearance, not by importance

MOM #1: Her name is Sheila. This is my birth mom. For whatever reason, I was given up at a few months old. Born in september and given up around that december. I was given to some one who was a friend of my mom and that person took me to her mom.

MOM #2: Her name is Celia. This is the mom of the person I was originally given to. When she got me, I was dirty. My skin was coming off my body from wearing the same dirty ass diaper and I had no skin on my scalp. She didn't take me to a hospital because child services would take me and apparently I was given up from Sheila because she was on her way to jail and didn't want me to end up with children services. Celia nursed me back to health. At the time she was with a man named Ronald. When they split, he took me with him. I was a couple years old at this point.

MOM #3: Her name is Debra. Ronald got with her after splitting with Celia. They were a couple who were hooked on drugs and had no kids. Ronald had a daughter with another woman, my lil sis Ash, and then they began to have their own kids. 5 of them. In 98, 99 I moved back with Celia because I was on a downward spiral and its been me and Celia (momma san) since.

I was lead to believe Celia was my birth mom til mom #3 told me the truth in 97. Funny thing, I kinda always knew it. I always knew there was a big ass secret everyone was keeping from me. I didn't meet Sheila until 2005 and that's only because FACE looked my fam up online. Shit took 5 mins. Sheila kept in touch with people who knew my whereabouts but she never contacted me. She had my number and everything but never called, wrote a letter, etc. I called and talked my uncle and aunt and eventually a big sis who said they had been looking for me but they didn't know my last name or what city I was in. I found out Sheila was in jail and the following week I caught the train from LA to Salinas, CA. Me and pregnant ass FACE lol. If you've ever see Antwon Fisher movie, it was just like that. I walked in and everyone was there. Cousins, brother, sisters, aunts, uncle, grandma and a bunch of food. Lil brother looks like me. Its weird to see some1 that looks like you so late in life. The next morning me, FACE, my big sis and her husband made the drive to see my mom at the jail. She had no idea I was coming. I just sat down on the other side of the glass. The convo went like this:

ME: Hi mom
SHEILA: Hi...who are you
ME: I'm Randy
SHEILA: What's your name?
ME: Randy Conner
SHEILA: My son Randy?
ME: Yes

At this point, she starts crying and telling the other female inmates who I am. After that visit I went back home and came back when she was released. Actually, it was the day before my birthday. The day before, I met my dad for the first time. He's a truck driver and had just hit cali from mississippi a day before Hurricane Katrina. He looks and walks like me. Me, him and pregnant ass FACE lol drove in his truck trailer from my crib in Glendale, CA back to Salinas and I met his side of the family and we all went to see my mom in a rehab/halfway house. The next day was my birthday. I saw Sheila once then. I never got an explanation for why I was given up and the rest of her kids weren't and why she never hit me up. So until I get that explanation, I won't be calling her.



Debra is the woman I'm talking about in the song "open letter". That song hurts to perform now because i found out she didn't get the point and is back to smoking crack. So expect a part 2 soon. Her 5 kids ended up in a foster home after I moved out in 99. 3 girls, 2 boys. All 3 girls ran away from the home one by one. Deb has made no attempt to get her kids (my lil brothers and sisters) back. So its a big "fuck you" for life. If you haven't heard "open letter" then go check it out. She saw me perform it once and cried. That's why I made the song. Just for her.

So yea, its just me and Celia aka C.C. Baby aka Momma San *asian voice*. She get on my damn nerves but that's my nigga lol. I drop everything when she needs me. She's old and sick and I promised her a castle when I was little so I'm working on it now before she leaves this earth.

Frustrated

So I'm sitting up watching "Britney Spears: For the record" and I'm reflecting over my life (weird...right?) and I'm just overly frustrated for alot of reasons

I'm upset that I can't do anything about my music situation. I can't do shows without a car. Can't get to the studio which means I can't finish my mixtape and give my manager something to manage. I'm too busy trynna go to work and go to interviews for a second job. So now my head is full of ideas that I can't put to a beat or to a pro tools session rather.

I'm also upset because people around me aren't struggling like I am. My son's mom goes to the club every weekend. My daughters mom is buying a new lap top....my child support dollars hard at work. I don't want to see people suffer but shit, I don't want people happy around me either lol. I'd rather just be alone

And in me wanting to be alone, I can't get a moment to myself it seems. Everybody wants to asks whats wrong and I hate that. If you not going to help, why ask?

Having a car will end all my frustrations because then I can get a 2nd job easier, get to the studio and just get away when people get on my nerves. Until I get a car, I'mma channel my rage into working out lol. I'm gonna be so ripped. At this point, I'd cop a bucket just to get away

Time to hit craigslist and see who selling buckets in the recession lol

RANDOM

I'm in a weird spot. I want to record but have nowhere to record right now. I'm in a bad mood and that's the only thing that will make me feel better. I've been writing concept songs like crazy lately. My new shit is gonna drop jaws!

My living situation is ass. Too many people in one house. I miss living on my own. Half my check goes to rent, half goes to child support. THATS SO ASS! That means I can't put shit away to get my car fixed, get a new car or down payment on my own spot.

I'm back in that real dark spot I don't like. I look mad all the time and nothing seems to be working out for the better. I predict the next few songs will be real dark in mood.

On a lighter note, I've gotten my performance bug back. I'm probably going to hit some open mics the next few nights and see whats popping. I need to get back on the scene, get the name out there.

Time for me to hit the library. I haven't been on my book game like I used to be. Talking with Tranquility got me motivated me to get back in to black history studies. You ever think you're the smartest person you know til you meet some1 that makes you feel dumb? That's the advantage to surrounding yourself with people doing better than you. The artist I'm around rub off on me. Tranquility's knowledge bug rubbed off on me and Stage's new singles got me looking at song marketing differently.

All in all, I feel lost and its something only I can fix. Lets see how this turns out....

Time For Change Has Come!

Yes! We did it people. We finally got Bush out of office. We finally got a black man in office. We finally showed that we have a voice when we come together. We made history and if you didn't vote I hope you feel bad.

Now, its Nov 5th. The day after. I hope black people got up and are going to work. Don't be a nigger and declare this a black holiday and call off. We still got our own job to do. Times are still hard. We are still broke. Lets do what we have to/suppose to do.

C "dot" still working like Bush is in office. In the words of Loaded Lux "All day cake'n, everyday stack'n, what hannin" lol.

If this election has taught us anything, its that anything is possible. You can be anything you want to be in life but you have to have the knowledge of the job and do it better than the next man. As a father, I have to stay on top of my shit otherwise my seeds might fail and I can't let that happen. Its still up to you to make things better for yourself. Let this be an inspiration to us all

OBAMA BITCHES! PAINT THE WHITE HOUSE BLACK!

A Man Apart

Aight, change of plans folks. The mixtape was originally going to be called I Got The O.J. Gloves but not anymore. Its not going to be called A Man Apart like the movie with Vin Diesel. That's how I feel now with so many people from Best Coast gone now. 2 artist, 2 A&R's and my business partner are gone. Time for me to throw the company on my back. Luckily I don't fold under pressure. Its refreshing and makes me nervous at the same time. I'm good tho, I started this by myself and I've only gotten better since then. I've come along way professionally

Anyway, back to the mixtape. I'mma have pieces of the movie between songs that relate to how I'm feeling. There will be no features except my artist but that's limited to 2 songs. I'mma get real personal on this. It won't be as lyrical as "I Got The O.J. Gloves" but will still be better than most mixtapes. The purpose of it is to get shit off my chest. I'm going to also do a dvd to go with it just so people can really get to know me. I know how it is to be a fan of some1's music but you hear them talk and be like "this nigga ignortant". I can speak and I'm funny so you'll enjoy it.

The title is relevant also because I'm always alone. I don't kick it with people mainly because people are stupid. A person is smart but people are stupid. And my son is only 2 so we can't have grown people convo but we talk like he's grown. I tell him everything. I work with like 100 people but I don't talk to em. I don't know anyone's name. I eat lunch alone. I don't say hi or bye or none of that shit. I'm only a people person when I'm in rapper mode. I'm weird like that. I'm real private but I'll get into why on the dvd

In other news, the website will be up in a couple weeks. I'm going back to recording and engineering next weekend. Back to working out. Oh, and I'm growing my hair back. I'm giving the Balmd Menace a rest. New tatts coming soon. I'm out. Peace.

He's baacck!
323 622 8559

Old School Me

The video above is of me at 17 dj'ing at my high school pep rally. Man, I was MAD skinny back then. I was funny looking and shit. I don't even know why I had my fucking shirt up. I think I was working out back then and felt way bigger than I was lol. My dilusional mind lol. Notice my hat say "YOLEGE". That was my dj/rap name back then. It stood for Young Knawlege. It was the YO from young and the Lege from knawlege. There a million "young knawlege's" back then and just "young" something in general. It was my way of saying I was the beginning and end of young knawlege out there in the world. My way of being unique.

Also look at my crappy ass gear. This was a "dj in a box" set that my mom got me for xmas the year before. It was some bullshit gemini joints, the cheapest we could find. Belt drive turntables, ever dj knows you don't dj live with those lol. Its almost impossible to scratch vinyl's with those but I figure out a way. No slip mats or nothing. I still had the heavy rubber joints like slip mats and would use a crappy vinyl as a slip mat. Lol, look at the bullshit as mixer...Nuff said. See all those vinyl? This was before serato and shit. I had to bring what I could on the bus. That's right. I packed all that equipment in a big ass duffle bag and the vinyl in my backpack or a spare backpack and got on the bus with it every friday during football season for pep rallies. That's dedication for that ass. My whole life was hip hop back then. I stopped listening to music and only listened to instrumentals and I wrote rhymes like crazy. I didn't write verses back then, I wrote whole pages of raps



I used to tape verses to my wall after I finished a 16 or a whole page. I recorded on my computer in my room all the time. The sound was crappy but I felt like king of the world. I used to dj in yahoo chat rooms lol. Instead of plugging my mic in and talking, I hard wired my turntables and played whatever I had on my turntables. Most people liked it. Only one that didn't was the asshole who just wanted to talk shit on the mic...get it....assholes...talk shit lol.



I sat on this couch next to my bed and write poems and rhymes out the ass. I should've been doing my homework. I used to record freestyles on cassettes in the morning, then pass the tape to my best friend Stevie Franklin and he would do his freestyle after school or that night.



This was/is my best friend in the whole world next to Denise. This man got me serious about rapping. He moved to pasadena from the east coast but was born in Madagascar in Africa. He was so much better than I was but it never felt like a competition. He taught me shit and with his help, I got better. You'll hear more about him in another blog. There will be more old school pics too when my old computer is up and running. Until then, PEACE and go to bestcoastent.ning.com

"Underground" rapper

For those that don't know, there are typically 2 kind of rappers. Mainstream and underground. I'm classified as an underground rapper. It used to be that you were underground until you got signed or "discovered". Then you were considered mainstream. That's not so much as true anymore

Now if your underground, that means you make underground music or "real hip hop". These are the artist who throw a milion words in a sentence because they think they are suppose to. All of their beats have heavy samples and sound like BOOM BOOM BAP because that's what they think is real. They either dress real regular or in shit most people have never heard of. But it has a lot of colors in or on it..

The mainstream rapper is the artist on a big major label or major indie label. He raps usually about whatevers hot at the time (the newest car, hottest model, new big face on money, swag, etc.). They wear what they think we think is hot. Gucci, sean john, prada, etc. They spend a lot on diamonds, girls, cars, and liquor.

Jay-Z was underground at one point, so was biggie, G. Malone, and any other rapper who hit the small clubs, bars, and open mics to perform. That used to mean you were on your way. Now it means you only do one kind of music. Underground artist now all rap about how the industry is wack, how they better than the top selling rapper, sometimes about how hard life is and weed. They all sound the same cuz they all pick dilla-ish/kanye-sh beats. They can't make a radio hit to save their lives but they got MAD vocab. They rap about peace, politics, and punchlines

I'm not the typical underground artist. Which is why I can't stand most of them. I perform every where because I have no real platform. I run into all the performing undrground artist and I never stay and listen to their set. Because I already know what your gonna rap about. So I don't walk in the spot til 5 mins before I go on stage. That leaves enoug time for a piss and to grab a drink. Then I leave right when I'm done because the guy/girl after me is gonna rap like the guy/girl before me.

I rap about whatever. In my set these days, its a song about my moms on crack, me as a person, a song about me stepping to a girl, rappers trynna be like Pac and Biggie, and some genuine west coast shit called "lo lo drop". Half of those are underground shit, half is possible radio shit. I pick different sound beats. I have a set list of songs for underground spots and I have songs for when I perform at a club. I'm not MC freestyle his ass off but I am MC get busy lol. I'm versatile. I can perform at any venue. These "underground" cats will get booed at some clubs I've torn down. Same thing for some mainstream artist at underground spots.

I say all that to say this: I'M A RAPPERS WORST NIGHTMARE. Because I can do any kind of song. I'm not underground, I'm THE GROUND. When you walk down the street, you see every kind of person. I rap about every kind of thing without contradicting myself like Pac did. I might wear the undeground gear but I do it because its fresh, not cuz I'm suppose to. Therefor I can be marketed in more areas than a Jeezy can or a Talib can. Because I'm all over spectrum instead of being in an industry made box

C. - hype without the hypeman

NO MORE FREE SHIT!

I've reached the point where its time to put worth on what I'm doing. So from now on, I won't be doing any free collabos and I won't do a feature if the sound quality isn't right. I won't be charging a arm and leg, I'll work with any budget but I can no longer do it for free. Reason being, this is my hustle and if it don't make dollars it don't make sense. I've done got to keep business booming so the ringtones and wallpapers that were free are now 99 cents. I take my craft very seriously, as should every artist. I guarantee that if you pay for a feature, it'll be worth every cent but you know that already otherwise you wouldn't have asked me.

I won't charge artist that I feel I can benefit from collabing with or dj's who has a mixtape coming out.

So if you feel you have something to offer that would warrant a free verse, hook or whatever than let me know.

I will not die off in this recession lol....WORD!

Why I'm probably better than your favorite rapper...

The thing about rappers is they have very big egos. Most songs are about what they got, how tough they are, etc, etc. I do that half of the time too but the other half I give you songs that have a story line, songs that show my vulnerability. Shit with concepts to em. I can do a song and let you know my faults as a man. I can do a song about that runaway kid, that bum and how he got there, that cop whose looked at as a hero but is a wifebeater. If you get a song from me that has 3 verses, guarantee it has a beginning, middle and end. Yes, I have a blinged out watch but I don't rap about the shit all the time. I'm livng check to check and you get that in a lot of my songs. You get struggle, you get good times, you get stories

Another thing is my live show is the shit. I'm not just a nigga on stage rapping. I put a lot into my live shit. I loose my voice sometimes. I participate with the crowd, I make eye contact. I'm a completely different person on stage. I'm loud, I spit my words clear. In person I'm quiet, I mumble and stutter lol. You feel like I'm performing just for you. I do extra shit, like pull a extra mic out my back pocket in the middle of my set for the hook on a song. That shit gets em everytime. Don't let me catch niggas doing my shit lol. I got a dj now so that makes the live shit more special. He can scratch on my hooks, in between songs, sound effects and shit. And I make sure to give him some shine.

Another thing is I'm a one man machine. I send out mass amounts of online shit to let you know what I got going. I make my own ringtones. I walk through the crowd after I'm done and give out my contact info, shake hands, etc. I'm a people person.

Another thing is I'm a fresh dude. I've never dressed "ok" for a show. I'm fresh everytime. I'mma start going harder on the freshness. I was laying off cuz of bills and shit but I'm back on it. The whole fit matches. I put extra shit on that I can take off. Like a jacket or a shirt if I've been working out lol. The hat gets flipped around so many times during my sets. It might get thrown if I'm hype. I work out just to look good on stage lol. That's mainly because most people don't know who I am but they will when I'm done. Gotta compete with these buff ass rappers like LL and 50 and shit lol

I'm also better than most rappers because I know my faults. I'm not a rapper who records a lot. Majority of my shit is just memorized while I'm at my security job. I don't have my recording technique down yet. My delivery is getting better with time. If you think I'm ill now, its nothing compared to where I'm headed. I have dreams of how I'll sound in the future and the shit is tight lol. But what I lack in recording technique, I make up for being a recording engineer. I know how to make a song sound good. Adlibs, doubles, compression, etc. I got that shit locked. A lot of rappers sound like they reading and that's because they are. They reading the lyrics off paper or they phone in the booth and you can tell. Some write the lyrics without a beat and just try to throw it on any beat and you can tell. That's how you get songs about killing on a r&b beat lol. I'm at the point where I cater lyrics to a beat if I didn't write for that beat. I ride a beat well and let the beat let me know what the songs gonna be about

I study these other rappers because at the end of the day, they all competition. I want there fans. I don't copy any1 but I see what there faults are and make sure not to do the same. Like I know not to make a song about how much money I got when the economy sucks. Plus I'm just honest. You can't never pull up one of my songs and say "he ain't do that shit in real life". But in that same sentence, certain things I can't say in songs because my family don't know I did that shit yet lol. If you think you know me from my music, you really don't yet

All in all, I'm a very well rounded emcee. You can't just peg me as a backpack rapper, a mixtape rapper, a commercial rapper because I can do it all. I'm Mos Def with Bow Wow's market appeal but not bow's "skill' or swag at all. I'm me all day. If you come to one of my shows, u see its empty when I start and its packed when I'm finished. I love that shit. The only thing stopping me is myself because I don't have material just out there. That's over. I'm raping every mixtape, every beat, every blank piece of paper. I'm on my shit ladies and gentlemen!

Oh yea, FUCK DAT RAPPER!

My Watch

I'm not some one who walks around with alot of jewelry for a couple reasons
1. I can't afford a bunch of real jewelry
2. I refuse to walk around with fake shit
3. That's just not what I'm about

I could've invested into more jewelry instead of buying $500 turntables or a $800 mpc or $200 on a guitar and amp but I didn't...so sue me

Anyway, I did eventually get myself a watch. It took me months of lay a way to pay for it but I got it. Its rose gold and the face is covered in diamonds. Its sick lol. I could easily pay your rent for the whole summer or a year or 2 if you on section 8 lmao. I can't eat with it on, thats how heavy it is. I can't sleep with it on either. I don't even think I can run right if I have it on. But for some reason I feel more like a rapper when I have it on. Sometimes it feels like it completes an outfit or that people pay more attention when I have it on. Its like "hey, whose that guy....I don't know but he must be getting money, look at his watch". Its weird. I guess because you see every rapper on tv with loads of jewelry (some in their first video ever)that you feel like you doing something wrong unless you ICEY too. So when I put it on, I feel a step close to "those guys"....not sure if that's a good or bad thing

BUT we live in a recession and I do live in the hood so I never wear my watch in public without my knife on my belt. I reach for it if I even feel like its being looked at too hard. I know you're probably thinking "then why even wear it at all?". Its because it was a gift to myself. At the time, I needed something for myself. I was working 2 or 3 jobs and trynna do music and start a business. I needed to reward myself. And it adds to my stage visual. I try to look my best on stage because those people may never see you again. You only get one 1st impression.

Since buying the watch, I'm addicted to rose gold. I've found myself writing about jewelry in my rhymes a couple times and I've been pricing a couple pieces. I don't know why because I don't have the funds to buy anything lol. The cool thing tho is when times gets hard and I need gas money or my son needs pull ups or my girl needs something, I can take my watch to the pawn shop and get a loan lol. A loan, never pawn. That also lets you know the shit is real, cuz they won't take it if its fake.

MY BIRTHDAY!

Aight, so its sept 14th. My birthday was on the 4th. I'm 23 bitches! Lol. Shout out to FACE, she made me a homemade birthday card. I keep it in my back pocket at all times.

The actual day was kinda wack. It was a thursday, I got off at 8am that morning, came home and applied for jobs all day til I went to work at 11:30 that night. I had a slice of cake I bought myself tho. It was chocolate. Very delicious lol.

BUT the next night was friday and I had a show at The Airliner. Me, FACE, her sister Tracey and friend Danielle all went down ready to turn it out. I did my thing on stage. It was the first time FACE had see me perform in a year or two so I did the extras. After I was down, we stepped outside to finish our drinks, I bought my first licorice root, and I bought a ring that has the african american flag on it. Then we stepped to the downstairs stage where I beasted the open mic for as long as I felt like and I had some good eats from the kitchen and drank some more. We left and 2 and went home and I passed out. Good night.

Now its time for my resolutions. I do that because your real new year is on your birthday. That's every1's personal new year. So here are my resolutions in no particular order

1.Get Best Coast Ent making more money
2.Get my body more toned and add more muscle
3.Get my mixtape done and out in the streets before winter
4.Get my car fixed...finally
5.Get an apartment
6.Just overall step it up as an artist
7.Get back on my knowledge of self road

That's it for now. I'm working out right now and Best Coast has a rock showcase tonight so I'm already working on my list

PEACE from the quiet guy ya momma told you to look out for

first name CONTRO, last name VERSY

Peace. Lets get it in

I'm C. Versy...make sure you say the "dot" part. Its a period, not a hypen. That's important also, punctuation niggas lol.

The name came from me being a big shit talking in high school. Nobody liked me, not cuz I was lying but because I made all the foul truths funny. No one could every say what I was saying isn't true, they just didn't want to hear it. I was the unCOOL KID. That's gonna be a mixtape title or song lol

Anyway, I tagged the C "do" name because I never hold my tongue. The truth hurts sometimes....take it or squeeze it. I write about everything so its hard to box me in. I can talk about selling drugs and having parents who were addicts. I can talk about having money and having less than a dollar in my bank account. I can talk about being lonely and trynna juggle so many girls I don't know what to do. I can do it all without sounding like a hypocrite.

A lil background on me: I grew up fast. Was given up as a baby, found out when I was 12. I spent those 12 years thinking I had parents and brothers and sisters, aunts and uncles, cousins that aren't mine. I spent those 12 years with parents who were crack addicts. I've been abused in every way and have had less than nothing. I moved every 2 years, lived in hotels, houses, apartments, a one room shack with 7 kids and 3 adults. I've been to 11 schools before I graduated high school. I was always the new kid lol. I didn't play with other kids outside of school, I was always with adults. Not on purpose but mom#3 (explained later) took me everywhere. Every1 believed I had could tell when something was gonna happen, sixth sense or some shit. So when it came time to steal from a store, do some check scams, etc I was always asked how I felt about the store, bank, etc

So I can't relate to my peers. They don't know what its like to steal so your moms ain't gotta ho for drugs. Or having to give up your room every time ur "parents" got some staying for months at a time. Or having guns in your closet where your school clothes should be. Or having to take care of 6 kids before you can sleep or do homework. Or....This can go on all day lol

I say all that to say this, I'm different. I don't think like most people. I'm always alone because I don't like niggas and they mentality. I plan years ahead. I talk different. I dress different. I'm just different. I'm half serious, half delirious. People will tell you I'm both the nicest person they know but a asshole if you on my bad side.

I have attachment issues but who wouldn't if they moved every 2 years. I cut people off with a quickness. But I cut people off for holding me back. I got goals. I own Best Coast Ent, I'm a recording engineer, rapper, dj, all around go getter. And I'm a father. So I have a reason to do everything I do. I'm 22 but move around like russell simmons or some shit

I know music and business like the back of my hand but I don't know regular shit because I didn't grow up regular. Like I don't know shit about cars, I don't know a lot about the smaller gang sets, I didn't know fashion until after I graduated high school, I didn't know how to tie a tie til I was 20

But you can bet your bottom dollar I know guns, crack, week, alcohol, check/credit card scams, how to steal, sex, how to be a father and how to be a man.....bet I know that shit. Some1 once told me "you act like the world owes you something"....my response to that is NIGGUH, you think it don't?

The world owes me rent, back taxes, unpaid loans and grants. It owes me all them birthday and x-mas gifts that got returned, parties and sleepovers I never attended

Life's a bitch and I'm raping it

I'm Contro fucking Versy and I'm gonna show rappers how to be an artist. Every song I do is real and I leave a apart of me with you when I step off stage. You take a part of me with you when my song is done and you take your headphones off. I may not be the best looking but I sho got swag and that bleeds into everything I do. I resonate with people. Average people can't relate to me as a person but they can relate to my music because they know some1 like me or some1 I talked about in a song. They feel like they know me and hopefully after reading this. You all know me better too. Its first name Contro, last name Versy and I'm a problem because I said so. I got 2 more months of struggling before I kick a whole in this rap.

GIMME MY DUCKETS NIGGA!

Google me bitches!

The quiet guy your momma told you to look out for....